“You can spend your whole life buildin’
Somethin’ from nothin’
One storm can come and blow it all away….
Build it anyway.”
Away had gone the light;
Dark and barren has been
the night.
Bitter cold the frost;
A stinging reminder of
all that was lost.
This house was built
with love;
With blessing from
above.
Now still as the grave;
Empty as a cave.
Yet I remember the words
spoken:
“even though this is a
very dark hour, remember that even at midnight, the sunrise is only hours away.”
I treasure them like a
golden token.
I look in hope towards
the day,
I build it anyway.
I build it anyway.
Nice poem! You have a lot of emotion in your poem which makes the reader want more. Your use of figurative language makes your poem connect to things we (as the reader) are familiar with. It has a nice flow. Thanks for sharing!
ReplyDeleteI know the idea is to give suggestions Trisha, but you are such a skilled writer and that was so full of emotion that I don't have anything to say but that it was fantastic!
ReplyDeleteI agree with Allison and Rae! This poem flows nicely and has a metaphor in it! I like the way you alternate the long and short sentences. My favorite part is that you have the same syllables for these two lines " This house was built with love; With blessing from above." and these two "Now still as the grave; Empty as a cave." too! I don't know how to comment on this! This is a very well-written poem!
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